Some Thoughts On How Society (and other Black Women) Treat Black Women

One of my sista bloggers on tumblr and her followers were discussing a disturbing hashtag that some sistas started, countering a video that was posted by a self-hating negro boy. From what I gather from the conversation, the video was footage of some black girls just dancing and having fun at a pool party or gathering and the negro boy titled it. “This is why this generation sucks for us men because we’re forced to pick a wife out of this bunch“. Below is a small part of the conversation between sista blogger and one of her followers:

Follower: “So are the black girls on Twitter using the hash tag #allblackgirlsdont gonna receive a cookie or a prize from whites or some black men because they’re “different”? I love black women but honestly I can’t support the type of black women who places respectability politics on other black women and who looks down on certain types of black women.”

Blogger: “The ##AllBlackGirlsDont  hashtag on Twitter is a hot ass mess. The black women under that hashtag aren’t doing it right at all. They’re basically saying “Hey please like me because I’m not like those other black women” Instead of saying “Hey I deserve to be respected because A, B, and C, regardless”. Especially when one sista said all black women don’t have nappy hair, and other negative stereotypes. I give up, I really am about to give up and just start going off on black “some” black women too.

I’m glad to see sistas gathering the black male hypocrites about that video, but a whole bunch of black men are reblogging it and I think that’s what started the #AllBlackgirlsdont hashtag. Ugh I hate everything!

We don’t get special cookies for trying to prove how we’re not “like those other black women.”

Sistas, you don’t have to shame other black women in order to prove that you deserve to be treated with respect, dignity, and humanity. It doesn’t help anything that way. Saying “Not all of us are (insert negative stereotypes associated with black women that shames those black women who represents those stereotypes) are like that, is not how to go about it. On my blog I stress repeatedly how all black women deserve to represented and treated with humanly respect no matter where she’s from, how she looks, or what she represents.

Social media is a clear look through the windows of how people view black women.”

My Thoughts

I agree 100% with the sistas above,  what the sistas on twitter did was an epic fail. Black Women catch crazy hell from everybody, whites, “the black community,” non-black poc, other black women and these “I’m not like those other black women” black women ARE NOT HELPING AT ALL.

Respectability politics or the politics of respectability refers to attempts by marginalized groups to police their own members and show their social values as being continuous and compatible with mainstream values rather than challenging the mainstream for its failure to accept difference.-From Wikipedia

The meme below illustrates to a T how society and the “black community” hit sistas with the respectability politics.

Black people have been doing it to each other for years and black people and black women do it to other black women…..ALL THE TIME.  Gotdammit! A sista can’t have fun like the sistas in the video dancing and twerking without negro boys and girls slut-shaming and or policing their behaviors. Black Women/Girls have been twerking and dancing for how long now? Thousands (probably) millions of years…before everyone else came into existence. What’s fucking new?!? Many Black Women notice how the “black community” wanna always police Black Women/Girls behaviors from what they THINK we should wear to who they THINK we should fuck to how they THINK we should behave. See , It’s misogynoir (anti-black misogyny) and sexism that drives society and the “black community” to police Black Women 24/7/365 like hapless teens or little children. I bet each of you $20 a piece these negro boys WOULD NOT have done this if they were white and or non-black girls. To society and the “black community” : A black girl twerking=ghetto, slut, hoe, unfit to be a wife, and all things bad and;  A white/non-black girl twerking= cool, groundbreaking, feminism, and all things good. So a black woman/girl twerking makes her an unfit wife?!? Negros have several seats!!!

The meme below is a great illustration of black womens’ multifaceted-ness, just like any other woman and human being:

As for the Black Women who started the hastag, Black Sharon from the suburbs IS NOT SUPERIOR than Black Shaniqua from the ghetto. Have several seats!!! Like the sistas said, “You gets no cookie from self-haters and society for being “a different kind of black woman.” *I’m soooo sick of both society and the “black community” with their policing of Black Women’s thoughts, behaviors, and bodies.  All of this is just one of the many examples of Black Women’s struggle against racio-misogyny……from society and “the black community”. Black Women just can’t be feminine, human, or just fucking be ourselves (whether we twerk or not). We fucking can’t just be. We’re criticized for just existing! Sistas can’t catch a break! GOD HELP THE BLACK WOMAN!


13 thoughts on “Some Thoughts On How Society (and other Black Women) Treat Black Women

  1. Completely agree! Why all the hatred toward us ALL the time? Why can’t you say, hey I like to cupid shuffle and not diss the people who prefer to electric slide? I mean we all like to dance, right? Silly analogy, but I just don’t understand why there is so much promotion for what we DON’T like to see instead of what we DO? If you prefer Sharon from the suburbs, there should be no jabs at Shaniqua from the south side. Yet another divide + conquer ploy that seems to be working very well. And the shit[what’s hot, what’s not] switches up so often that I’m sure the young, impressionable and insecure are constantly at war with themselves trying to be what society is telling them they should or shouldn’t be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. but I just don’t understand why there is so much promotion for what we DON’T like to see instead of what we DO? If you prefer Sharon from the suburbs, there should be no jabs at Shaniqua from the south side. Yet another divide + conquer ploy that seems to be working very well. And the shit[what’s hot, what’s not] switches up so often that I’m sure the young, impressionable and insecure are constantly at war with themselves trying to be what society is telling them they should or shouldn’t be.



  2. I feel as if “men” are ONE of the biggest reason we think and look at ourselves how we do, social media has become a huge platform to express how one feel. Many black woman on social media today are very open to showing what they have, or what they’ve gotten done. Men comment on how we look, we read those comments and then we divide! We look at one another and choose whose like us, so we join them. Then we look at the more “urban” black female and decide well how she look/act isn’t the “correct” way to act and she will only make us look “ratchet” therefore we shouldn’t hang with her. I admit I have had moments like this in life, until I had to realize well the world is already trying to divide us, so why should I do the same. However, I do feel when woman in general loose respect for themselves and don’t care about how they are sleeping around then that’s when it’s a issue for me and I choose not to be around it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. @Nicole

      You said, “We look at one another and choose whose like us, so we join them. Then we look at the more “urban” black female and decide well how she look/act isn’t the “correct” way to act and she will only make us look “ratchet” therefore we shouldn’t hang with her. I admit I have had moments like this in life, until I had to realize well the world is already trying to divide us, so why should I do the same. ”


      Yes, Some sistas say this all the time while many Negros scream black unity this and black unity that and then choose which black women are worthy of acceptance into the clique and that’s not right at all. We will NEVER become unified dismissing certain black people and women. We are in the mist of a WAR, everybody’s against us. We don’t need to be against ourselves!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. A very interesting post. I have a few thoughts on this. I know I’m a man so my opinion may not matter much but bear with
    Many times I’ve said that black men who act like thugs,gangsters and drug dealers are not helping the black cause. we shouldn’t be reinforcing negative black stereotypes if we want to move forward. Therefore what is wrong with calling out black women for doing the same? Black women acting like tramps,hookers and whores is helping the black nation? This is the image we want for black girls? These are positive images for our people??
    Yes there are many different facets to black women..but want image do we want to portray to the masses? we can’t complain about racism and them celebrate ignorant stereotypes in the same breath. Doesn’t make sense to me. If a sista wants to twerk and shake her ass..go for it! But you have to realize people will look at you sideways when you complain about racism,sexism and everything else. Just like Nicki Minaj recently complained about the body image double standard of white and black women. She was hammered in the press. She and Taylor Swift had some words. But Nicki runs around with green and blond hair and talked slick about Malcolm X awhile back. Now she wants us to defend her when it she feels racism is involved. She’s a hypocrite!! You can’t act like a rapping whore one minute then turn around and want to act like you’re Betty Shabazz the next minute. It doesn’t work like that. Nicki is just a puppet for the white elite anyway. I would suggest sistas don’t follow her example. If anyone disagrees with me I’m open to hear it. I’m just keeping it 100 with you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. @KP

      I see where you coming from. I plan on re-blogging a post in a few days from a another sista who did an excellent post on explaining respectability politics. Respectability politics is another form of divide and conquer that is destroying the black community.

      I am not a fan a Nikki Minaj and I do not consider her as a role model;she doesn’t have to be. I remember Rhianna said a few years ago that she is not a role model, she’s an entertainer. I am not advocating promiscuity and whorish behaviors for black women. I don’t expect her to be “pro-black” or down for the cause, which is the case for MOST, IF NOT ALL of the black entertainers. Sometimes people may not live or act as we think they should, but sometimes they say something that makes sense. As a matter of fact, I think that we should not let our children look at ANY of these black entertainers (good or bad) as role models. That’s not their jobs, their just entertainers. Bill Cosby was a “role model” and “America’s dad” and look at who he turned out to be. Parents are their children’s role model.

      Nikki doesn’t get it right most of the time and I did not agree with her portrayal of Malcolm X. It’s no secret to me that most of the time, Nikki like most black entertainers say or do nothing to help or resolve black issues (i.e., police brutality). She even said herself last year about how black entertainers are either afraid to speak up or are silenced on these issues. She was correct about that one and she is correct about the body image double standards. A lot of times the messenger is flawed, but their message is correct………what’s the saying” listen to the message, not the messenger?” (Correct me if I’m wrong) She is just an example of the double standards people placed on black and white women. As for Taylor Swift, when Nikki’s statement made the news, Taylor jumped the gun as if Nikki was talking about her specifically when it is bigger than Taylor Swift. Taylor end up apologizing to Nikki a few days later.

      As for the double standards, many of us black women are noticing that when it comes to behaviors and/or body image there are different rules for black women because of racism/white supremacy and misogynoir. Why is it that Taylor Swift is not called a hoe, but “just experimenting” with the 10 boyfriends she’s had in the last few years, yet Nikki Minaj only had one boyfriend the entire time and people (black and white) call her a hoe? How come people are so quick to call Nikki a ho for just dressing and acting provocatively , yet Kim Kardashian slept with ALL the black men in hollywierd and made a sex tape, but people both Black (not all) and white are not calling her a ho? Nikki did not make a sex tape nor slept with everything with a penis. KimK is far worst than NIkki, but Nikki is the bigger ho?!? Why is it that when black women/girls twerk and dance, just having fun and we’re automatically labeled a ho?!? There are plenty of videos of black girls, white girls, and other girls on youtube dancing and twerking, but people single out sistas and call them nasty, ghetto, ho, and other derogatory names. I think we know the answer to all of this.

      I would like to share an exchange between a sista explaining the double standards to another sista; the sista explaining does a better job (I think) than me explaining the point:

      Sista 1: Why is it that when black girls twerk they’re ratchet sluts but when white girls twerk they’re just having fun & are talented. Twerking originated with black women. Shaking your booty in general comes from African cultures. When we embrace our own culture we’re unsophisticated savages but when white people co-opt it they “do it better”. I just saw a video of a white girl (with no ass to shake) getting excessively praised by black men. White mediocrity will always trump black excellence it se?


      Because black girls are seen as dirty, unclean, impure, promiscuous, and not human. Black female sexuality is still seen as taboo. Black women’s bodies are seen as classless and unprofessional, especially if she has the stereotypical body type, the judgment then becomes worse.

      When we do harmless things it then becomes a lecture about morals, whereas white women, Latina women, Asian women and even white men or black men do it, it’s just entertainment and fun.

      Black women like myself, have addressed countless times that shaking your butt has African origins and it’s not only cultural either. Those African sistas also do it to have fun and express their sexuality. Many people know this, but choose to be obtuse on purpose because they can’t stand black women to begin with.

      White female sexuality is seen as innocent, pure, natural, normal and feminine. White female bodies are seen as innocent, pure, natural, normal and feminine. I mentioned being on a forum where this sista who would often lecture black women about acting accordingly, slut shame black women, and she mentioned how disgusted she was about “Anaconda”. The video I posted of the white girl who made the song “Niggas ain’t shit” who was twerking in the video, the same sista who would lecture black women saw the video and said she liked it and the song and proceeded to say “I love me a raunchy bitch” but called Anaconda trashy and vile, just like Al Roker did. And speaking of Anaconda, you saw the reaction it got by black and white people opposed to songs like “Booty” which was a song blatantly about ass by Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azealea, people had no problem with.Especially when I used to lurk WSHH, they would slander the hell out of the black girls, even the Twerk team girls had people coming at them saying things like “Why don’t you all read a book instead of shaking your ass online” and even now black people (especially black men) will use that line as a way to slander black women. Meanwhile white women and even non-black women are lauded and praised for doing the exact things, followed by either a “She killed it” or “(insert other race here) girls be winning” by black men and white men.

      It’s shameful that even our fun has to be modest and clean before people approve of it. Meanwhile, everyone else can make vines, videos and everything else coming up with dances, rap songs, and other stuff and they become internet sensations.”

      I hope that clarifies.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That was a great breakdown sis! I see what you’re saying. I agree with the shameful double standard. White women are always given the benefit of the doubt. We all know that Kim Kardashian is a talentless whore! But I see your point about Nikki. A person can be right about things sometimes even if they are not a great role model overall. I’ve always had that issue with Tupac. He would talk about women being whores and bitches. But then write something so beautiful like Dear Mama and Keep Your Head Up. I got the feeling that deep down Tupac loved black women and his people in general. He was just a conflicted soul. And he had other positive songs as well. I just wish artists like Nicki,Lil Wayne,Rick Ross and others did more uplifting songs for our kids. I think people wouldn’t call them hypocrites so much. But I think we’re on the same page though. That was a great response. Thank you sis. Much love.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. @KP

    Yes. Tupac was indeed contradictory/conflicted too, but I agree with you that deep down he really did love black people and black women. Tupac couldn’t escape those black nationalist roots, despite the inconsistencies. That’s why he was still a much feared black man. Yeah I wish Nikki and them would do more uplifting songs too, but in the evil industry they are in, it just seems that it’s not possible. I remember I saw an interview with rapper too short and he was talking about how most people don’t know that there was another side to him besides his highly explicit sexually suggestive raps. He said that when he would make music speaking on serious issues and or positive songs his record label would not let him make or release those types of songs. Someone told me that Lil Wayne said not too awfully long ago that he couldn’t make the music he wanted to make. I used to like Lil Wayne’s music when he first came on the scene as a teen in 99-2000, but his music started to go south around 2004.

    Yeah, we’re definitely on the same page now, lol. Welcome and much love to you too!


  5. Black people on a whole, we just can’t catch a break, no matter what we do. We dress in our Sunday Best and speak perfect Queen’s English, we are too uppity or we are trying to act white. If we try to uplift our own ancestry and embrace our own heritage and culture, we get called militants, Afro-centrists, racists. We try to assimilate more into white society we get called self-hating, we just try to be ourselves, we’re too threating, we are literally living in HELL

    Liked by 1 person

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